SELF CARE

The answer is in the title but why do we all neglect the importance? Let’s face it, we all know we ‘should’ exercise, eat a healthy diet, and get a sufficient amount of sleep. Yet, our busy lifestyles and daily stressors influence our decision-making. Thus, we want to make life a hell of a lot more convenient for ourselves, and why shouldn’t we?!

I’ll be the first one to admit, that after a full day at work, I do not want to be making a meal from scratch, undertake the 30-minute recommended daily exercise, or stand on one leg and pretend that I am as light a feather. I am a realist. I go home, feed/play/walk my babies (human and animal), read a little, then I’m ready for bed, for the harrowing cycle to continue the next day. Consequently, work-life, mom-life, personal-life is a constant juggling battle, like it is for most. Which solicits a fundamental question:

How can I incorporate more ‘me time’ without letting the other plates slip?

Here are my five top tips:

1.Limit social media.

I’m guilty of this and it can be a very slippery slope to go down a rabbit hole and end up on your friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s dad’s page to have a quick nose. Although, debatably by having a stroll through social media, it can help us relax, switch off, and escape. Yet, research suggests it is one of the leading sources of depression and low self-esteem. It can portray unhealthy expectations and pressures – remember people only post the good, not the bad and the ugly!

The notifications from friend requests, follows, likes, etc., stimulate the reward neurotransmitters in our brain, releasing the reward hormone – dopamine. This activation encourages further addition to our screens and consequently can be counterproductive regarding our self-care. As seen below, there are other avenues to explore when seeking that happiness hit. Plus, it is possible to turn all notifications off on your phone to regain that control and focus.

2. Make your bed.

“If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. Making your bed will [reinforce] the fact that the little things in life matter.” – U.S. Navy Admiral William H. McCraven Research by a Stanford behaviour scientist, Fogg (2021) suggested that we should create quick wins in order to embed new, tiny habits into our everyday routines. By focusing on what is ‘easy’ to change, not what is hard, such as making the bed. You can walk out of the room knowing you’ve achieved something, and you’ll feel more inclined to complete another task. Ultimately, this is reported to lower your stress levels and improve your mood, and motivation for the day.

3. Create a routine.

For those who have the next six weeks off – I hope it’s a blast and I’m very jealous! Do enjoy those long lie- ins and late summer nights. However, be mindful of the lack of routine as it can potentially have several negative implications. No plans, whilst sounds blissful, can sway our movement levels for prolonged periods of time. The lack of achieving any meaningful activity, including the daily basic necessities, such as: brushing your teeth or having a bath, can subsequently increase anxiety and low mood symptoms. Additionally, it is suggested that you can become more prone to develop an unhealthy sleeping pattern through the lack of structure throughout the day.

A disruption of your natural circadian rhythm can impact energy levels and lead to poor-quality sleep. Thus, by attempting to continue to go to sleep at the same time every night, it will help alleviate the transition back into the workplace.

4. Surround yourself with people who only want the best for you.

Ever heard of that saying – ‘you are who your friends are’? That’s because friendships are commonly based on shared interests, ideologies, and values. However, have you ever had that friend you spend time with who drags you down, doesn’t support your growth, and whose goals don’t align with yours? Remember: You don’t owe anyone, anything. This truth can be tough to grasp, especially in a world that often insists otherwise. We are, in many ways, socially conditioned to comply with others’ expectations, often at the cost of our own peace and contentment. But it’s pivotal to comprehend that your life is uniquely yours, designed to fulfill your aspirations and not others’ projections or demands.

The compulsion to meet obligations can lead us down a winding road that isn’t in line with our true desires. Such a path often sows seeds of resentment, towards ourselves or others. It can be a steep and sometimes painful realisation, but acknowledging this is an important step towards healthier emotional boundaries. Furthermore, you’re not obligated to sustain relationships that drain your energy. In life, we encounter various relationships – some to enrich us, while others drain us. It’s essential to recognise the difference and give ourselves permission to step away from those that harm our mental and emotional well-being.

Prioritising your emotional health in your relationship is not a selfish act; it’s a necessary one.

5.Be mindful of NATS – Negative Automatic Thought “Should, Could, & Must”.

Ever catch yourself saying “I should have…” or “I must do…”? That’s your brain tricking you into feeling guilt or pressure. These statements can create unrealistic expectations.

Remember, it’s ok to swap “I should go to the party” with “I could go to the party, but a quiet night in sounds better today!”